Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts
by Odette Texen
Summary: Ginevra Weasley and Blaise Zabini, bestest friends on earth found a ‘Things I’m not allowed to do at Hogwarts’ list and decided to break the rules. R&R ppl
1. Prologue

A.N. this is random, unbeta'd and 100% spoilers. Enjoy my little birdies!!!

Summary. Ginevra Weasley and Blaise Zabini, bestest friends on earth found a 'Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts' list and decided to break the rules.

Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts: Prologue

Ginevra Molly Weasley and Blaise Alexander Zabini were an unlikely pairing, even as friends. It was quite the shock for Hogwarts, correction, The Wizarding World to find out that they were best friends since the moment they locked eyes. They were almost complete differences- Ginny's eyes were chocolate brown, Blaise's were light blue; she was on the short side, he was quite tall; she had a fair, heavily freckled skin, his was olive colored and spotless; and so on… the only semblance between them were their personalities.

But enough about their background- let's get on with the story!

**..XD.. ..XD.. ..XD..**

Our favorite red head and Rasta boy were sitting in the Room of Requirement, now transformed into a computer hall. Now don't ask me how it happened since electronics don't function in Hogwarts, it just happened, ok? Good! As I was saying- the two of them were having a hart time deciding what to do, have already decided to listen to music. Hmmmm… the long thinking-moments… hmmm…

"Hey, Blaise!" Ginny was almost jumping up and down on her chair.

"Yeah?" he turned to her.

"Remember that site we found about Twilight fanfiction?" he nodded for her to continue, "Well in one profile I saw some funny/weird stuff. Wanna check 'em out?" she grinned hopefully.

"Yeah sure, I've got nothing better to do." He shrugged.

After a good fifteen minutes of browsing through some completely boring profiles, Blaise and Ginny found a _huge_ one! They started reading and –of course- laughing. Somewhere near the end was a piece named 'Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts'. They read it and grinned wickedly at each other.

"Ginevra, hun, how 'bout we break da rules?" Blaise asked.

"Don't mind if we do, Blaisie-boy, don't mind if we do."

And so the two besties skipped to the hallway planning their first 'attack'. Now you may wonder what the thing said. Well I being the good, generous person- and the review wanting one-, will give you that answer:

**Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:**

**1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball**

**2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office**

**3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter**

**4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick**

**5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar**

**6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination**

**7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"**

**8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.**

**9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus's "time of the month"**

**10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand**

**11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals**

**12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"**

**13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"**

**14) I will not you my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot**

**15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it**

**16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive**

**17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast**

**18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"**

**19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways**

**20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor**

**21) I will not use the phrase, "Get a Life" when talking to Voldemort**

**22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy**

**23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling**

**24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full"**

**25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell**

**26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate**

**27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways, not even on Halloween**

**28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colors indicate that they're "covered in bee's"**

**29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge**

**30) I will not go to class sky clad**

**31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"**

**32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm, not even if they are in Slytherin**

**33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers**

**34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion**

**35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"**

**36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"**

**37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak**

**38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine**

**39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts**

**40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"**

**41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck**

**42) I do not have an Edward Cullen Patronous**

**43) I will not lick Trevor**

**44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"**

**45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween**

**46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously**

**47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions**

**48) I am not the King of the Potato Poeple and I do not have a flying carpet**

**49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice**

**50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God**

**..XD.. ..XD.. ..XD..**

And here you have it! I'll probably post the first chapter soon. Stay tuned for more! Oh and I just love reviews. Khehe!

.Sugary. Tears.


	2. Numbah 16 comes in action

A.N. That's the fastest I have updated since…well…forever! Enjoy my little pudding/cookies! The screen is in _italic_. **A side note: I got the 50 things off a profile so don't give me credit for them. If I knew who made them up I'd give them the credit. **Thank you all so much for reviewing!!

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts: Numbah 16 comes in action

Ginny and Blaise were comfortably sited on the bed in the Head bedroom, "So who's bed is it again?" Ginny asked.

"Draco's. But he won't mind, yell a bit yeah but meh! Now off to work!"

The two friends went to work. They decided to do number one on Christmas, when a Yule Ball was held anyway; and leave all of the Remus ones until said werewolf came to visit the headmaster for Order matters.

**..XD.. The next day ..XD..**

The oak doors of the Great Hall were thrown open by a Hufflepuff first year, "Prof- Professor Dumbledore!" the boy ran to the Head Table, "Peeves, he- he got the password for your office." He said out of breath.

In one short second, all of the adults had shot up and ran to the Office. Ginny and Blaise high-fived each other and Ginny ran to the 'Firsties Room'. This was the student's name for the small room where you waited before your first Sorting.

Smirking, Blaise murmured under his beath, "Accio Gryffindor's and Slythering's wands." All of the wands belonging to the two rival houses flew to him. The next second a cry made everyone jump, "Accio Gryffindors and Slytherins!" The students clad in red and gold or green and silver flew towards the 'Firsties Room'. Ginny got out just in time and locked the door.

Casting a 'sonorous' on himself, Blaise climbed on the head table and yelled at the two houses, "Make your bet's everyone! Which house is going to make it alive, and why?"

"You'll see what's happening on this screen!" Called Ginny, also casting the spell on herself.

Yells erupted from the Hall, every student trying to give his money first. The two besties, being the smarty-pants they were, asked for attention again, "Everyone who votes Slytherin put the money and your name on their table, and for the Gryffs- same thing but the other table. Come on people; make it snappy so we can watch the action. After about ten minutes every single person has put their money and name and was intently watching the GIANT screen Ginevra has produced out of… well…nowhere.

Apparently the ten-or-so minutes had passed in silence. _Finally 'the prince' cracked, "Ok, what the fuck just happened?! Potty! Why did that little Weasel lock us in here and where the heck are our wands?!" He jerked his head to get the hair out of his eyes. Smexy…_

"_How the hell should I know, bimbo?! I'm not in her head!" Harry got angry._

"Ohhhh!" the Ravens and Huffies 'oh'ed at Harry's 'insult'.

"_How dare you call me a bimbo?!" Draco asked outraged. "You are going to pay for this, Potty!"_

"_Ohh! I'm shaking!"_

_And so the two rivals started slapping each other. "CHICK FIGHT!!!!!" A random Slyth yelled and so it begun. Everybody fought with everybody. Okay, slapped everybody…Whatever. After a good twenty minutes of bitch-slapping, a scream was heard, "Hey wait everybody!" Theodore Nott yelled above the sound, "Gin-I mean Weaselette isn't the only one missing. Where the hell is Blaise?"_

_All heads turned towards the ceiling where a camera was installed, "Ginevra Weasley and Blaise Zabini! You guys are _so_ dead!" All eyes were somehow –magically, that's how- fixed on the two BFFs._

"Oh well, I guess I'll take it all." Ginny said heading towards the two tables, "I mean I did bet that both of the houses were going to make it out alive. Adios amigos!" and so she ran away, money in hands, flicking her want towards the 'Firstie's Room' door, and yelled to Blaise to run.

The teachers didn't know what hit them when they came back, and our dear friends were stinkin' RICH! They even received a letter from Gred and Feorge the next day.

**..XD.. ..XD.. ..XD..**

Here you have the first chapter! I hope you like it! Please review if you liked me calling Draco a bimbo! Ok really this chapter wasn't as good but it's late so yeah. Bye people!

.Sugary. Tears.


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